Joke- Monkey business

A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he's drinking, the monkey jumps all around the place. The monkey grabs some olives off of the bar and eats them. Then grabs some sliced limes and eats them. Then jumps onto the pool table, grabs one of the billiard balls, sticks it in his mouth, and to everyone's amazement, somehow swallows it whole.
The bartender screams at the guy, "Did you see what your monkey just did?"
The guy says, "No, what?"
"He just ate the cue ball off my pool table whole!"
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replies the guy, "He eats everything in sight, the little bastard. Sorry. I'll pay for the cue ball and stuff." He finishes his drink, pays his bill, pays for the stuff the monkey ate, then leaves.
Two weeks later he's in the bar again and has his monkey with him. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again. While the man is finishing his drink, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his butt, pulls it out and eats it. The bartender is disgusted.
"Did you see what your monkey did now?" he asks.
"No, what?" replies the guy.
"Well, he stuck a cherry up his ass, pulled it out and ate it!" said the bartender.
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy, "He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he swallowed that cue ball, he measures everything first. . . "

Comments

Edie Brickell & New Bohemians - What I Am

I'm not aware of too many things I know what I know, if you know what I mean Philosophy is the talk on a cereal box Religion is the smile on a dog I'm not aware of too many things I know what I know, if you know what I mean, d-doo yeah Shove me in the shallow waters Before I get too deep What I am is what I am Are you what you are or what? What I am is what I am Are you what you are, or? Oh, I'm not aware of too many things I know what I know, if you know what I mean Philosophy is a walk on the slippery rocks Religion is a light in the fog I'm not aware of too many things I know what I know, if you know what I mean, d-doo yeah

The Skyliners- Since I Don't Have You

I don't have plans and schemes And I don't have hopes and dreams I don't have anything Since I don't have you I don't have fond desires And I don't have happy hours I don't have anything Since I don't have you I don't have happiness, and I guess I never will again When you walked out on me In walked old misery And he's been here since then I don't have love to share And I don't have one who cares I don't have anything Since I don't have You, you, you, you You, you, you, you You, you, you, you (You) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Skyliner

Used By Him

I was blanketed in lust. Devoured from the inside with rhythmic perspiration. Plunging deep, like a knife, on a cold winter night. I lifted myself towards it like a glutton, head spinning all of a sudden. He was striving towards some intoxicated hard earned moment, which I found Herculean and unnerving. I've been thinking of how he looked in ecstasy, calling my name as if the two were the same. Then he was gone, the blanket of lust stripped away without shame. Cold and empty without shelter, it's just my body he's after. Lick my lips, flip my hair Where the hell is my underwear? J.M.

Joy M.

Search This Blog