Skip to main content

JOKE - Man Wanted



Mary had her fill with the men she had in her life and had just broken up with her latest beau. Determined to finally 'Meet The One', she places an advert in the local paper's lonely hearts classified. 

 It said, "Wanted- A man who will not hit me, not leave me but has to be an extremely wonderful lover."

 Many weeks pass and not one answer to her ad... until there's a knock at the door. Mary goes to answer the door and opens it to see a man in a wheelchair with no arms or legs.

 "I'm here about the ad," he said.

 "How do I know you won't hit me?" says Mary.

 "Well I have no arms so I cannot hit you even if I wanted to," he replied.

 "How do I know you won't leave me?" says Mary.

 "Well I have no legs so I cannot leave you even if I wanted to," he replied.

 "How do I know that you're an extremely wonderful lover?" says Mary.

 "Well," begins the man, "What the fuck did you think I knocked on the door with?"

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Hindi Zahra - Stand Up

Mmm, mmmm, mmmmmmm Mmm, mmmm, mmmmmmm Standing on your two knees baby Tell me what do you need Oh, stand up on your two feet baby That's how it's got to be You want me to be your mother But you know I'm too young, too young You want me to be your sister But you know I'm too old, too old You think I'm gonna raise you like a kid But don't matter the love I feel, mmm It's time to show and prove, man, go on move Do what you gotta do, do what you gotta do So Standing on your two knees baby Tell me what do you need Oh, stand up on your two feet baby That's how it's got to be No no no no no Standing on your two knees baby Tell me what do you need Mmm mmmm Stand up on your two feet baby That's how it's got to be Man I love you and I just wanna be your woman Your woman But I'm tired of your trifling ass You played me for a fool Thinking I don't know what you're doing, no Hanging out in the clubs with ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Who Is Fancy - Goodbye

I was a hot mess In my Sunday best Black tears in my eyes You were my first love You were my only one I can't believe your lies Once we were like bottle rockets Now I know I have to stop it Please believe me This isn't easy I just need to say goodbye Goodbye Goodbye Losin' my mind Goodbye You got a new friend You like to play pretend I'm just keepin' my cool Turn on that smoke machine Magic and make-believe She'll never know you like I do Once we were a fire burnin' Now you're just a lesson I'm learnin' Please believe me This isn't easy I just need to say goodbye Goodbye Goodbye Losin' my mind Goodbye I know that I can find somebody You won't ever find nobody else like me I know that I can find somebody You won't ever find nobody else like me I know that I can find somebody You won't ever find nobody else like me I know that I can find somebody You won't ever find nobody else like me Once we were like bottle rockets Now...
Post a Comment
Read more

Tricking Astrid (Ch.2.2)

Chapter 2 (Part 2) The next morning was Saturday, her day off, so she woke early and left for a jog. She pushed herself harder this morning because of the anger she felt over giving more emotions towards Remy than she had expected. He was all she thought about. The last months had been wonderful. The way he ultimately made her feel was wonderful. Was she falling in love because of how he made her feel about herself or because of who he was? Who was Remy? She didn't even know. That was something she SHOULD know. Why had she not asked more personal questions all these months? It was as if just being around him made her accept whatever he did or said. He knew all about her. All about lonely little twenty-three-year-old Astrid. It was near three in the afternoon as she was folding laundry that she heard his car. What a surprise, she thought, happily going to open the door. Remy had only once before stopped by unannounced. It pleased her that he'd decided to stop by after hav...
Post a Comment
Read more