Friday Joke- Hi-tech

A guy walks into a bar and sits down. He starts dialing numbers, like a cell phone, on his hand, then talks into his palm. The Bartender walks over and tells him this is a very tough neighborhood and he doesn't need any trouble.
The guy says, "You don't understand. I'm very hi-tech. I had a phone installed in my hand because I was tired of carrying a cellular."
The bartender says, "Yeah? Prove it!"
The guy dials up a number and offers his hand to the bartender. The bartender talks into the hand and carried on a conversation.
"That's incredible," says the bartender, "I would never have believed it!"
"Yeah," said the guy, "I can keep in touch with my broker, my family, you name it. By the way, where is the men's room?" The bartender directs him to the men's room still in awe.
The guy goes in and 5... 10... 20 minutes go by and he doesn't return.
Fearing the worst given the neighborhood, the bartender goes into the men's room. There the guy is spread-eagled against the wall. His pants are pulled down and he has a roll of toilet paper up his ass.
"Oh, my!" exclaims the bartender, "Did they rob you? Are you hurt?"
The guy turns to him and says, "No, I'm fine. I'm just waiting for a fax!"

Comments

Edie Brickell & New Bohemians - What I Am

I'm not aware of too many things I know what I know, if you know what I mean Philosophy is the talk on a cereal box Religion is the smile on a dog I'm not aware of too many things I know what I know, if you know what I mean, d-doo yeah Shove me in the shallow waters Before I get too deep What I am is what I am Are you what you are or what? What I am is what I am Are you what you are, or? Oh, I'm not aware of too many things I know what I know, if you know what I mean Philosophy is a walk on the slippery rocks Religion is a light in the fog I'm not aware of too many things I know what I know, if you know what I mean, d-doo yeah

The Skyliners- Since I Don't Have You

I don't have plans and schemes And I don't have hopes and dreams I don't have anything Since I don't have you I don't have fond desires And I don't have happy hours I don't have anything Since I don't have you I don't have happiness, and I guess I never will again When you walked out on me In walked old misery And he's been here since then I don't have love to share And I don't have one who cares I don't have anything Since I don't have You, you, you, you You, you, you, you You, you, you, you (You) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Skyliner

Used By Him

I was blanketed in lust. Devoured from the inside with rhythmic perspiration. Plunging deep, like a knife, on a cold winter night. I lifted myself towards it like a glutton, head spinning all of a sudden. He was striving towards some intoxicated hard earned moment, which I found Herculean and unnerving. I've been thinking of how he looked in ecstasy, calling my name as if the two were the same. Then he was gone, the blanket of lust stripped away without shame. Cold and empty without shelter, it's just my body he's after. Lick my lips, flip my hair Where the hell is my underwear? J.M.

Joy M.

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