Friday Joke- Pickle Slicer

Bill worked in a pickle factory. He had been employed there for a number of years when he came home one day to confess to his wife that he had a terrible urge to stick his penis into the pickle slicer. His wife suggested that he see a sex therapist to talk about it, but Bill indicated that he'd be too embarrassed. He vowed to overcome the compulsion on his own. One day, a few weeks later, Bill came home absolutely ashen. His wife could see at once that something was seriously wrong.
"What's wrong, Bill?" she asked.
"Do you remember that I told you how I had this tremendous urge to put my penis into the pickle slicer?"
"Oh Bill, you didn't!"
"Yes, I did."
"My God Bill, what happened?"
"I got fired."
"No, Bill. I mean, what happened with the pickle slicer?"
"Oh... she got fired too."

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Edie Brickell & New Bohemians - What I Am

I'm not aware of too many things I know what I know, if you know what I mean Philosophy is the talk on a cereal box Religion is the smile on a dog I'm not aware of too many things I know what I know, if you know what I mean, d-doo yeah Shove me in the shallow waters Before I get too deep What I am is what I am Are you what you are or what? What I am is what I am Are you what you are, or? Oh, I'm not aware of too many things I know what I know, if you know what I mean Philosophy is a walk on the slippery rocks Religion is a light in the fog I'm not aware of too many things I know what I know, if you know what I mean, d-doo yeah

The Skyliners- Since I Don't Have You

I don't have plans and schemes And I don't have hopes and dreams I don't have anything Since I don't have you I don't have fond desires And I don't have happy hours I don't have anything Since I don't have you I don't have happiness, and I guess I never will again When you walked out on me In walked old misery And he's been here since then I don't have love to share And I don't have one who cares I don't have anything Since I don't have You, you, you, you You, you, you, you You, you, you, you (You) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Skyliner

Used By Him

I was blanketed in lust. Devoured from the inside with rhythmic perspiration. Plunging deep, like a knife, on a cold winter night. I lifted myself towards it like a glutton, head spinning all of a sudden. He was striving towards some intoxicated hard earned moment, which I found Herculean and unnerving. I've been thinking of how he looked in ecstasy, calling my name as if the two were the same. Then he was gone, the blanket of lust stripped away without shame. Cold and empty without shelter, it's just my body he's after. Lick my lips, flip my hair Where the hell is my underwear? J.M.

Joy M.

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