Friday Joke; Maid to order

A guy calls home from work. A strange woman answers.
The guy says, "Who is this?"
"This is the maid," answered the woman.
"We don't have a maid!"
"I was just hired this morning by the lady of the house."
"Well, this is her husband. Is she there?"
"Um, she's upstairs in the bedroom with someone who I just figured was her husband."
The guy is fuming so he says, "Listen, would you like to make 50,000?"
"Sure, what do I have to do?"
"Get the shotgun out of the hall closet, go upstairs and shoot that unfaithful witch and the jerk she's with."
The maid puts down the phone. The guy hears footsteps, followed by a couple of gunshots.
The maid comes back to the phone, "What should I do with the bodies?"
"Throw them in the swimming pool!"
"What pool?"
"Uh... is this 555-3485?"

Comments

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I'm not aware of too many things I know what I know, if you know what I mean Philosophy is the talk on a cereal box Religion is the smile on a dog I'm not aware of too many things I know what I know, if you know what I mean, d-doo yeah Shove me in the shallow waters Before I get too deep What I am is what I am Are you what you are or what? What I am is what I am Are you what you are, or? Oh, I'm not aware of too many things I know what I know, if you know what I mean Philosophy is a walk on the slippery rocks Religion is a light in the fog I'm not aware of too many things I know what I know, if you know what I mean, d-doo yeah

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I don't have plans and schemes And I don't have hopes and dreams I don't have anything Since I don't have you I don't have fond desires And I don't have happy hours I don't have anything Since I don't have you I don't have happiness, and I guess I never will again When you walked out on me In walked old misery And he's been here since then I don't have love to share And I don't have one who cares I don't have anything Since I don't have You, you, you, you You, you, you, you You, you, you, you (You) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Skyliner

Used By Him

I was blanketed in lust. Devoured from the inside with rhythmic perspiration. Plunging deep, like a knife, on a cold winter night. I lifted myself towards it like a glutton, head spinning all of a sudden. He was striving towards some intoxicated hard earned moment, which I found Herculean and unnerving. I've been thinking of how he looked in ecstasy, calling my name as if the two were the same. Then he was gone, the blanket of lust stripped away without shame. Cold and empty without shelter, it's just my body he's after. Lick my lips, flip my hair Where the hell is my underwear? J.M.

Joy M.

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