Joke - Hemorrhoids

There was a young couple riding a train. Next to them, an elderly man was sitting and looking out the window. The girl, clearly uncomfortable, was holding her head and laying against her boyfriend.
"What's wrong?" he asked her, concerned.
"My head really hurts," she tells him.
So, her boyfriend gives her a kiss on the forehead and ask her, "Does anywhere else hurt, honey?"
"Right here!" she says, pointing to her lips.
So, her gives her a kiss. "Better?" he asked.
"Yeah, much better!" she smiles.
"Is there anywhere else that hurts?" the boyfriend again ask the girlfriend.
"Yeah," she pouts and points to her neck. So, the boyfriend goes ahead and gives her a kiss on the neck.
Annoyed by what's happening right next to him, the elderly man reaches over, swats the young man and says, "Excuse me fella, do you do hemorrhoids?"

Riddles for your friends ;

Q: When you pull me I get longer. I fit perfectly between breasts, slid comfortably into a hole and I have choked people in the past when I wasn't used properly! I work best when I am jerked. What am I?

A: A seat belt.

Comments

Edie Brickell & New Bohemians - What I Am

I'm not aware of too many things I know what I know, if you know what I mean Philosophy is the talk on a cereal box Religion is the smile on a dog I'm not aware of too many things I know what I know, if you know what I mean, d-doo yeah Shove me in the shallow waters Before I get too deep What I am is what I am Are you what you are or what? What I am is what I am Are you what you are, or? Oh, I'm not aware of too many things I know what I know, if you know what I mean Philosophy is a walk on the slippery rocks Religion is a light in the fog I'm not aware of too many things I know what I know, if you know what I mean, d-doo yeah

The Skyliners- Since I Don't Have You

I don't have plans and schemes And I don't have hopes and dreams I don't have anything Since I don't have you I don't have fond desires And I don't have happy hours I don't have anything Since I don't have you I don't have happiness, and I guess I never will again When you walked out on me In walked old misery And he's been here since then I don't have love to share And I don't have one who cares I don't have anything Since I don't have You, you, you, you You, you, you, you You, you, you, you (You) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Skyliner

Used By Him

I was blanketed in lust. Devoured from the inside with rhythmic perspiration. Plunging deep, like a knife, on a cold winter night. I lifted myself towards it like a glutton, head spinning all of a sudden. He was striving towards some intoxicated hard earned moment, which I found Herculean and unnerving. I've been thinking of how he looked in ecstasy, calling my name as if the two were the same. Then he was gone, the blanket of lust stripped away without shame. Cold and empty without shelter, it's just my body he's after. Lick my lips, flip my hair Where the hell is my underwear? J.M.

Joy M.

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