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Friday Joke - Similarities / Dirty Limericks

Similarities 
A boy asks his dad to explain the differences between irritation, aggravation, and frustration.
Dad picks up the phone and dials a number at random. When the phone is answered he asks, "Can I speak to Alf, please?"
"There's no one named Alf here," The person hangs up.
"That's irritation," says dad.
He picks up the phone again, dials the same number and asks for Alf a second time.
"No, there's no one named Alf here. You have the wrong number. If you call again I will call the police." End of conversation.
"That's aggravation."
"Then what's frustration?" asks his son.
The father picks up the phone and dials a third time, "Hello, this is Alf. Have I received any phone calls?"

There was a young lady named Claire who possessed a magnificent pair; Or that's what I thought  Til I saw one get caught On a thorn, and begin to lose air.
Goldilocks has a lots of guys. Pinnochio's one, I'm advised! S…
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Bobbie Gentry - Ode To Billie Joe

Sophistic

Cantillate

Cantillate As far back as I can remember there is a melody I try to sing.
I hum and tap out the frustrating tones but it's always just out of my mind's eye like a bird's chirp somewhere in the forest  unseen and out of reach.
Sometimes late at night, I'll close my eyes tight and on the cusp of sleep  it'll come like a soft falsetto to only find when I wake my song remiss.
No tears from these tired eyes.
My song will belt out when I least expect and then I'll sing for all to see there is certain attuned magic when liberation proceeds willful melodies.  
Joy4no1

Careful what you wish for

Friday Joke- Laughing Customer

A man walks into a pharmacy, buys one condom, then walks out of the store laughing hysterically. The pharmacist thinks this is weird, but, hey, there's no law preventing weird people from buying condoms. Maybe it's a good thing.
The next day, the man comes back to the store, purchases another condom, and once again he leaves the store laughing wildly. This piques the interest of the pharmacist. What's so funny about buying a rubber, anyway? So he tells his clerk, "If this guy ever comes back, I want you to follow him to see where he goes."
Sure enough, the next day the laughing customer is back. He buys the condom, starts cracking up, then leaves.
The pharmacist tells his clerk to go follow the guy.
About an hour later, the clerk comes back to the store.
"Did you follow him? Where did he go?" asks the pharmacist.
The clerk replies, "Your house."

The Magician - Sunlight feat. Years & Years