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Friday joke- Signs

A woman and a man get into a car accident, and it's a bad one.
Both cars are totally demolished, but amazingly neither of them is hurt.
After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, "So you're a man, that's interesting. And I'm a woman... wow! Just look at our cars. There's nothing left, but fortunately, we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and become friends and live together in peace the rest of our days."
The man replied, "I agree with you completely; this must be a sign from God!"
The woman continued, "And look at this- here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of Mogen David wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune."
So she hands the bottle to the man. The man nods his head in agreement, opens it and takes a few big swigs from the bottle, then hands it back to the woman. The woman takes the bottle, immediately puts the…
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When I was 14 a boy asked me if I had toe hair. It is probably the most innocent yet invasive question someone asked me over the phone. We never spoke again.
When I was 20,  I told a friend I would fuck him up him in the parking lot for tossing an entire tub of popcorn in my lap during a double date.  It was the first time I punched a man in the throat.
There was a time I allowed myself to be expressive until time alone neutered the need to remember such incredulous things.
Looking back spelling out carnage these small hands will never be flippant with again has a funny way of goading reveries I'll surely never rekindle again.

Tricking Astrid (ch 23)

Cody smiled at Astrid when she came out of the bedroom wearing boxers and a shirt. Calder frowned at his brothers' obvious leering when Astrid wasn't watching but let it go knowing he was a terrible flirt. "Astrid, it's good to see you," Cody winked, "Nice shirt." She laughed, "Well, I need to go home for my own clothes but your brother insists I stay in bed. What can I do but agree?" Cody grinned at Calder after Astrid moved on to the kitchen. Calder shrugged happily, remembering how she had professed her love earlier. "She's hot," Cody hissed, "You really like her, huh?" "Yup," he motioned Cody towards the office, "I really do. Come on." Cody sank into the plush brown armchair beside Calder's desk, "So, I read Remy's file. He's a fucking whack job. Are you sure you like Astrid enough to get between them?" Calder frowned darkly, "She's better than that asshole deserve…

Ghoultown "Drink With The Living Dead"

Tricking Astrid (ch 22)

Astrid took a shower while Calder ordered in. He checked with Cody about the client then asked his brother to deliver the envelope pertaining to Remy after work.
Astrid had nothing to wear, so while Calder sat in the other room that served as his office, rummaged through the large walk-in closet.
Geez, was he anal-retentive or what? Whites, lighter hues, and black clothing hung in separate rows. Dress shoes, casuals, and sandals lined up neatly inside a built-in structure below. Ties on an automated rack whirled when she pressed a button. T-shirts are what she was after. A simple damn shirt to wear. She finally located a faded college top in a drawer of the dresser. All his casual shirts were pressed and folded too. She rolled her eyes when opening another drawer seeing socks and underwear also ironed.
Astrid walked out of the bedroom in just the shirt. It barely reached her thighs, but it felt comfortable. She went into the kitchen running her fingers through damp hair. Looking insi…

Tricking Astrid (ch 21)

Astrid shot straight up in bed. Her panic eased when familiar surroundings sunk in. With a relieved gasp of air, sagged back down to the fluffy black silk pillows on Calder's bed. She had no idea what time it was having left her phone in the living room and her smartwatch charging back home. Her only thought had been finding a safe place away from Remy. Calder walked into the room holding two cups of coffee looking concerned. He wore drawstring pajama bottoms she found adorable on his burly frame. "Good morning," he softly said, offering a cup, "I thought I heard you. Bad dreams?" Astrid sat up, taking the coffee, "Something like that. Thank you. This is exactly what I need right now." "You're welcome," he sat on the bed, "You were exhausted, Astrid. Hell, you still look it. Go back to sleep if you need to. I'm due at the office in an hour but I'll be back by noon." She swallowed hard, feeling scared at the thought of …