Skip to main content

Joke- Sex on Mars

The year is 2258 and Mike and Maureen land on Mars after accumulating enough frequent flier miles. They meet a Martian couple and start talking about all sorts of things. Mike asks if Mars has a stock market if they have laptop computers, how they make money, etc. Maureen discusses hobbies, the cuisine on Mars etc.
Finally, Maureen brings up the subject of sex.
"Just how do you do it?" asks Maureen.
"Pretty much the same way you do," responds the Martian woman.
Discussion ensues and finally, curiosity gets the better of them and the couples decide to swap partners for the nights and experience one another.
Maureen and the male Martain go off to a bedroom where the Martain strips. He's only got a teeny, weeny member- about half an inch long and just a quarter inch thick.
"I don't think this is going to work," says Maureen understandably.
"Why?" he asks, "What's the matter?"
"Well," she replies, "It's just not long enough to reach me!"
"No problem," he says and proceeds to slap his forehead, his member grows until it's quite remarkably long.
"Well," she says, "That's quite impressive, but it's still pretty narrow..."
"No problem," he says and starts pulling his ears. With each pull, his member grows wider and wider until the entire measurement is extremely exciting to the woman.
"Wow!" she exclaims, as they fell into bed and made mad, passionate love for many hours.
The next day the couples rejoin their normal partners and go their separate ways. 
As they walk along, Mike asks, "Well, was it any good?"
"I hate to say it, honey," says Maureen, "but it was pretty wonderful. How about you?"
"It was horrible," he replies, "All I got was a terrible headache. All she kept doing was slapping my forehead and pulling my ears!"  

 

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Edie Brickell & New Bohemians - What I Am

I'm not aware of too many things I know what I know, if you know what I mean Philosophy is the talk on a cereal box Religion is the smile on a dog I'm not aware of too many things I know what I know, if you know what I mean, d-doo yeah Shove me in the shallow waters Before I get too deep What I am is what I am Are you what you are or what? What I am is what I am Are you what you are, or? Oh, I'm not aware of too many things I know what I know, if you know what I mean Philosophy is a walk on the slippery rocks Religion is a light in the fog I'm not aware of too many things I know what I know, if you know what I mean, d-doo yeah

The Skyliners- Since I Don't Have You

I don't have plans and schemes And I don't have hopes and dreams I don't have anything Since I don't have you I don't have fond desires And I don't have happy hours I don't have anything Since I don't have you I don't have happiness, and I guess I never will again When you walked out on me In walked old misery And he's been here since then I don't have love to share And I don't have one who cares I don't have anything Since I don't have You, you, you, you You, you, you, you You, you, you, you (You) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Skyliner  

Used By Him

I was blanketed in lust. Devoured from the inside with    rhythmic perspiration. Plunging deep, like a knife,    on a cold winter night. I lifted myself towards it like a glutton,    head spinning all of a sudden. He was striving towards some intoxicated hard earned moment,    which I found Herculean and unnerving. I've been thinking of how he looked in ecstasy,    calling my name as if the two were the same. Then he was gone,    the blanket of lust stripped away without shame. Cold and empty without shelter,    it's just my body he's after. Lick my lips,    flip my hair        Where the hell is my            underwear? J.M.